Heyz..lolz..
thxs for coming to my blog..hope u all like it..
the 'my words' below are just my thoughts
for someone i liked..
hope you all dun mind..
'touching' are those i like
that are written by others
hope you all like it too...lolz..
[[* My.Words __ `
it was then that i realised,
birthday wishes,new year resolutions and
wishing to stars are a lie
coz i'm still alone now
and i see you drifting further away from me
if i could turn back time..to that holidays
i would hold on to you stubbornly
and not letting you go with her
i'm sorry if u think i'm stubborn,foolish or
irritating but i just want to keep you
by my side bcoz i realised i miss you
as much as you miss her
but that is if i could turn back time isn't it?
your back view has always been so familar to me
coz' that's what i can only see
perhaps i could not bring the happiness
she brought for you
but at least i know
i wouldn't make you cry and hurt you
like how she hurted you
after mths of loneliness
how i hope one day i can wake up
and see you there for me
but i know it's impossible
coz fate has never shine on us
like how my dedication nv got on air..
our lack of topics and your lack of interest
are just more signs of me losing you
and me hurting everyday
facing days of darkness...
when i saw you limping
i felt tears hurling in my eyes
no doubt i was having training
when i saw you in such a bad mood
reqesting to be left alone
i knew what my bdae wish is going to be
i have always thought
how much am i worth to u actually
does the frenship we once had matter to u at all?
or are u busy avoiding me
getting irritated of me
seeing no point in all my words
that u forgot how good we once were?
u seem to have become cold and heartless
some cold-blooded animal that has no heart
facing me..u seem to be another person..
am i that disgusting that u have to do this?
am i realli wrong to have said all my feelings out?
coz all i get in return is yr attitude
i like u for yr character
but i hate you for the way u treat the ppl ard u
after such a long time..
has yr feelings turn so bland
that u forgot everything?
the tarot cards told me
you would be touched by my wait
that we would be together in the end
when i saw the lovers card
i was really overjoyed
starting to feel hope rushing through me
but then i started to think
i did it myself
i just learnt it
the steps may be wrong
it's not accurate at all
i rather believe that i don't know how to do it
that the tarots cards are wrong
then to trust the outcome of it
coz i know the feeling u had for me is gone forever
isn't it?
evrything in yr bdae present are there for a reason
you like star-gazing
and i act.wanted u to be able to look at them
when u are lying on yr bed
so i did it
though it wasn't exactly successful
the cranes..
there for u to forget abt ytd
the lavender bottle
i like it as much as u do
it's symbolic to me
it's not there in my room collecting dust
like i have told u..
it's juz tat i noe u like it
that's why i wan u to hav it..
and tat the flower lang of lavender..
waiting for love..
the one phrase i wan to tell u
the letter...the lyrics..
so that i can relate to u what i'm feeling
and for u to think i gave u up
i was really happy that
i could be there for u
when the two of u broke..
you sound really devastated
as if u would die without her
then i told you
to be a guy
u wun die without her
maybe to u i flared up
bcoz i couldn't stand yr constant sayings
in fact it's not..
i will nv flare up in front of u
it's jus tat i dunno what kind of guy u are
the type who needs sum1 to scld him
and wake him up or not
so i risked u thinking i got angry
in the hope that u would wake up..
but i think i failed..
u lied abt the whole
not avoiding a gal when u noe she likes u..
u did avoid to a certain extent..
let's be good frens
u were the one who told me that
but u were also the one who drifted with me
the one who changed the tone towards me
i was always there
for u to turn back
but all u knew was to walk on
and weep abt how her attitude
changes towards u
sorry for being so obvious
i guess i looked desperate in front of u
but frm now on..
i'm going to forget u
i'm going to cry abt other guys
i've finally woke up from my fantasy
though it may not be successful enuff
but on the verge
my frens dun believe in me
that i truly forget u
that i can do it
but i noe me the best
even if they dun believe
all i cares is that i noe
the guy in my tots
the guy i get happy upon seeing
the guy who affects my whole day
will not be u anymore
the resolution i had..
it came true..
it's not that difficult
it's all in the mind i guess
and the next guy u meet..
but at least in this case
i didn't meet a guy to forget u
i forgot u and met that guy
though i noe i will fall into another endless hole
but it beats waiting for u
'waiting for rain in the drought'
quoted from cinderella story
but i will rmb you
for u are the first guy that lies so near
to my heart
that made me cry and weep for so long
thxs for making me mature
for carving my love life's me to the one i'm now
frens forever..
[[*TouChinG __ `
1.
"throughout the four seasons"
"you were what that kept me going on"
"sometimes it makes tears"
"uncontrollable and thoughts running wild"
"somehow it manages to trigger the tear gland"
"though i know not how and why"
"when night falls, it became worst."
"memories will surface, unwillingly."
"they become so vivid, like only yesterday,"
"suffocating me."
"just how hard it is to let go?"
"does it mean i won't miss you?"
"does it mean i will smile instead"
"of cry when i think of you?"
2.
How can you just walk away from me
when all i could do is watch you leave
i wish i could make you turn around
turn around and see me cry...
3.
you just wouldn't understand..how i feel
you just leave me alone
alone to face the consequences
you just don't want me to go on..go on loving you
I changed somehow..i sensed something amiss
I've grown..yet becoming someone i don't know
She's my image..she's a stranger..
Tears..what can tears do?
how does crying helps?
It is only a way to show how sad one is..
Feelings..Love..
Tell me what's that
I once understand the meaning of love
but i've now lost the understanding..
4.
I've learned that things change, people change,
and it doesn't mean you forget the past
or try to cover it up;
it simply means that you move on
and treasure the memories.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up,
it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be.
5.
it seems like everyday
ii make mistakes
ii just can`t get it right
it's like iim the one
youu love to hate.
im gonna to smile.
like nothing`s wrong
talk like everything`s perfect
act like it's all a dream;
and pretend it`s not hurting me.
Friday, January 07, 2005
*hoping.for.miracles* at 7.1.05
hmmm...spent 62.90today laz!!!omg...i'm so broke...left 10plus and still need to return anna 4bucks fro xl present...omg...luckily got pocket money now..can save..hahaz..hmm..29 on a mango top..19.90 on a far east brought de top..is a collared tee with a cute small pink devil on the top left hand size..hahaz..3.50 on neoprints..5.6o on a zinger meal..4.90 on a 'ca-ra-bi-na'..paiseh dunno how to spell lolz...die le loh..i still wan to buy a billabong skirt lehz..act i dunno shld buy that or settle for a denim skirt which i have yet to find..hahaz..elaine commented i shld get the billabong de coz she dun like demin said to be very lian-ish..but either way i got to fork out my own money coz think it's too much to get from my mum again..hahaz..all new year clothes..and she already paid for a denim dress, a three quarts, a mini-skirt, 4shirts,2 tees and a slip on..and i still trying to persuade her to buy me levi's jeans..hahaz..realli hope can get it..hahaz..so any other shirts i wan to buy now and the skirt will buy myself le loh..lolz..so sad..hahaz...hmm saw a gal kenna caught in 77th street also...this gal stole and got caught den the police was called to go down..she was sitting in the changing room crying with the police waiting outside..lolz..cool...so stupid..if i'm her and i gonna steal...i wun steal it from 77th street..it's kind of the easier places to get caught..hahaz...and evelyn broke her slip-ons when we were taking neoprint...lolz!!..hahaz..and saw a guy called julian today..got his name behind his shirt so knew..hockey player i think coz holding hockey stick..omghe's so cute!!!!and cool!!!!hahahaz...hmm buden anna say she dun like coz she says he's short..lolz...i so totally dun mind..the guy i like is short too what..lolz..
*hoping.for.miracles* at 7.1.05
hmm some interesting things happen ytd..VERY interesting in fact..hahaz...first day went to sch in sch uni..quite bu xi guan..feel like the sch uni so long..hahaz..hmm and nat commented my belt seems tighter le..last yr was lower..haiz..i grow fat le!!wah..lolz..starting of the day mr lim went to the sex edu course for sec4..so we were free..den we got weihao as our chairman..lolz..stupid rite..but nvm he's alrite and quite nice too..hmm decided on our class cheer...it was 1/2'03 class cheer..it's very stupid but erm too lazy to comment and to think of another one..so juz keep quiet..den class tee..luckily our class is the kind of black and white colour class thing..dun like lime green orange this type of colour for our class tee..hahaz..so class tee most prob would be black...cool..den also will be polo tee..hahaz..i nominated them de lehz..hahaz..coz cannot stand 2yrs of ugly class tee le..so wan it a nice one..buden too bad i'm not good in art..but reali hope de one whose designing the tee make it as simple as possible..realli hope so..hahaz..den went for the talks..slept thru half of it..think alot of ppl slpt baz..at least the ppl ard me..hahaz..hmm me anna and nat..and saw ljh slping too..hahaz..den during that 1hr recess..played netball with alvin,zanyu and yongkiat..3on3..hahaz..and we won!!!yea!!hahaz..6:5..hahaz..perhaps gonna play again on mon..coz alvin wans to win us..nat dun believed that we won them and wans to win them again and anna felt that they shld not have scored so many times...hahaz..had this concert after that..now for the first interesting thing..coz it was kinda cramped on all..i was squeezing thru the sea of bodies..so i brushed past a guy..and very 'coincidentally' our hands are at the same level..so when we brushed past..we sorta of held our hands together not those interlock kind obviously..for afew secs oni..buden it was ewwww!!!and the guy was not good looking at all la!!but i forgot how he look like le..lolz..den sat down and see the concert...omg gary and ben so cute..hahaz..or rather gary is cool ben is cute..hahaz..wonder what's beneath their tees..wahahaz..no la juz think they would have reali nice 6packs..hahaz..hmm..swimmers..and best till gary and another guy got a degree on psychology laz!!!omg so cool!!!i love psychology la..i wan to study it..lolz..my aspiration..hahaz..had training later..2nd interesting thing..hahaz..hmm when we had our first break...xl told me evona found my wallet and xl already helped me put on my bag..i was like..*stunned*'i thought they were in my bag?'...lolz..i didnt even kow they were lost..hahaz...but luckily nv lose anything..wahahhaz..my lucky day..so heng...hahahaz..reali muz thx evona...hahaz...
___mirrored::me*
+name::zijun
+bdae::17 dec
+age::14+
+horo::saggitarius
+school::anderson secondary
+email.add_friendster::zijun_friendds@hotmail.com
[[* loveex __ `
[slpin]
[smsing]
[snacking]
[watching.tv]
[reading comics]
[listening.to.songs]
_________________
[him]
[jolin]
[cyndi]
[JaY!!]
[Linda]
[S.H.E]
[netball]
[my frenz]
[mashimaro]
[Guang liang]
________________
[pasta]
[calamari]
[green.tea]
[springroll]
[lollipops]
[hashbrown]
[xiang chang]
[French toast]
[chicken chop]
[Japanese curry]
[strawberry.pocky]
[Lunch box filled with food i like!!]
________________
[pink]
[blue]
[black]
[purple]
[[* love*anime.comicsex __ `
_^Naruto^_
_^Initial D^_
_^Alice 19th^_
_^D.N Angel^_
_^WeiB Kruez^_
_^Tsubasa RC^_
_^Fruits Basket^_
_^Love for Venus^_
_^Happy Hustle High^_
_^Cardcaptor Sakura^_
_^Mystic Sleuth Loki^_
_^Hunter X Hunter Lie Ren^_
[[* hatesex __ `
=fish=
=spicy stuff=
=most vegetables=
=black carrot cake=
=sotong except calamari=
=pig intestines, stomach, liver!!=
___________________
=smoking=
=mean ppl=
=Attention.seeking.de.ren=
=ppl who always theatens to fight=
=some.vulgarities:ccb/knn/lanjiao=
___________________
=Qoo=
=coffee=
=some liang cha=
=wintermelon tea=
___________________
[[* wants __ `
::abercombie and fitch cargo::
::bag.tote.duffer::
::more shirts::
::more miniskirts::
::nike shorts::
::sports bra::
::money!!::
::belt::
::more accessories::
____________________