Heyz..lolz..
thxs for coming to my blog..hope u all like it..
the 'my words' below are just my thoughts
for someone i liked..
hope you all dun mind..
'touching' are those i like
that are written by others
hope you all like it too...lolz..
[[* My.Words __ `
it was then that i realised,
birthday wishes,new year resolutions and
wishing to stars are a lie
coz i'm still alone now
and i see you drifting further away from me
if i could turn back time..to that holidays
i would hold on to you stubbornly
and not letting you go with her
i'm sorry if u think i'm stubborn,foolish or
irritating but i just want to keep you
by my side bcoz i realised i miss you
as much as you miss her
but that is if i could turn back time isn't it?
your back view has always been so familar to me
coz' that's what i can only see
perhaps i could not bring the happiness
she brought for you
but at least i know
i wouldn't make you cry and hurt you
like how she hurted you
after mths of loneliness
how i hope one day i can wake up
and see you there for me
but i know it's impossible
coz fate has never shine on us
like how my dedication nv got on air..
our lack of topics and your lack of interest
are just more signs of me losing you
and me hurting everyday
facing days of darkness...
when i saw you limping
i felt tears hurling in my eyes
no doubt i was having training
when i saw you in such a bad mood
reqesting to be left alone
i knew what my bdae wish is going to be
i have always thought
how much am i worth to u actually
does the frenship we once had matter to u at all?
or are u busy avoiding me
getting irritated of me
seeing no point in all my words
that u forgot how good we once were?
u seem to have become cold and heartless
some cold-blooded animal that has no heart
facing me..u seem to be another person..
am i that disgusting that u have to do this?
am i realli wrong to have said all my feelings out?
coz all i get in return is yr attitude
i like u for yr character
but i hate you for the way u treat the ppl ard u
after such a long time..
has yr feelings turn so bland
that u forgot everything?
the tarot cards told me
you would be touched by my wait
that we would be together in the end
when i saw the lovers card
i was really overjoyed
starting to feel hope rushing through me
but then i started to think
i did it myself
i just learnt it
the steps may be wrong
it's not accurate at all
i rather believe that i don't know how to do it
that the tarots cards are wrong
then to trust the outcome of it
coz i know the feeling u had for me is gone forever
isn't it?
evrything in yr bdae present are there for a reason
you like star-gazing
and i act.wanted u to be able to look at them
when u are lying on yr bed
so i did it
though it wasn't exactly successful
the cranes..
there for u to forget abt ytd
the lavender bottle
i like it as much as u do
it's symbolic to me
it's not there in my room collecting dust
like i have told u..
it's juz tat i noe u like it
that's why i wan u to hav it..
and tat the flower lang of lavender..
waiting for love..
the one phrase i wan to tell u
the letter...the lyrics..
so that i can relate to u what i'm feeling
and for u to think i gave u up
i was really happy that
i could be there for u
when the two of u broke..
you sound really devastated
as if u would die without her
then i told you
to be a guy
u wun die without her
maybe to u i flared up
bcoz i couldn't stand yr constant sayings
in fact it's not..
i will nv flare up in front of u
it's jus tat i dunno what kind of guy u are
the type who needs sum1 to scld him
and wake him up or not
so i risked u thinking i got angry
in the hope that u would wake up..
but i think i failed..
u lied abt the whole
not avoiding a gal when u noe she likes u..
u did avoid to a certain extent..
let's be good frens
u were the one who told me that
but u were also the one who drifted with me
the one who changed the tone towards me
i was always there
for u to turn back
but all u knew was to walk on
and weep abt how her attitude
changes towards u
sorry for being so obvious
i guess i looked desperate in front of u
but frm now on..
i'm going to forget u
i'm going to cry abt other guys
i've finally woke up from my fantasy
though it may not be successful enuff
but on the verge
my frens dun believe in me
that i truly forget u
that i can do it
but i noe me the best
even if they dun believe
all i cares is that i noe
the guy in my tots
the guy i get happy upon seeing
the guy who affects my whole day
will not be u anymore
the resolution i had..
it came true..
it's not that difficult
it's all in the mind i guess
and the next guy u meet..
but at least in this case
i didn't meet a guy to forget u
i forgot u and met that guy
though i noe i will fall into another endless hole
but it beats waiting for u
'waiting for rain in the drought'
quoted from cinderella story
but i will rmb you
for u are the first guy that lies so near
to my heart
that made me cry and weep for so long
thxs for making me mature
for carving my love life's me to the one i'm now
frens forever..
[[*TouChinG __ `
1.
"throughout the four seasons"
"you were what that kept me going on"
"sometimes it makes tears"
"uncontrollable and thoughts running wild"
"somehow it manages to trigger the tear gland"
"though i know not how and why"
"when night falls, it became worst."
"memories will surface, unwillingly."
"they become so vivid, like only yesterday,"
"suffocating me."
"just how hard it is to let go?"
"does it mean i won't miss you?"
"does it mean i will smile instead"
"of cry when i think of you?"
2.
How can you just walk away from me
when all i could do is watch you leave
i wish i could make you turn around
turn around and see me cry...
3.
you just wouldn't understand..how i feel
you just leave me alone
alone to face the consequences
you just don't want me to go on..go on loving you
I changed somehow..i sensed something amiss
I've grown..yet becoming someone i don't know
She's my image..she's a stranger..
Tears..what can tears do?
how does crying helps?
It is only a way to show how sad one is..
Feelings..Love..
Tell me what's that
I once understand the meaning of love
but i've now lost the understanding..
4.
I've learned that things change, people change,
and it doesn't mean you forget the past
or try to cover it up;
it simply means that you move on
and treasure the memories.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up,
it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be.
5.
it seems like everyday
ii make mistakes
ii just can`t get it right
it's like iim the one
youu love to hate.
im gonna to smile.
like nothing`s wrong
talk like everything`s perfect
act like it's all a dream;
and pretend it`s not hurting me.
Monday, December 27, 2004
*hoping.for.miracles* at 27.12.04
hmm..sianz..had bbq on sun...den after that went to my cousin's hse for slpover..i'm still here in fact..haha..hmm..ytd nite..we wanted to watch meet the fockers..i know it's nc..decide to sneak in anyway..my other cousins even went all the way home to get the ic..coz they were coming to my hse and they see no pt to bring their wallet..and when we finalli reach there...the cinema was close...CLOSE..we were like pengz..we tot cathay had midnight movies..and it was a sun..we didn't know it was close as there was no newspapers that day and we oni referred to the prev day one..and there was..a 10,11 and 12 slot..so we juz went..lolx..luckily our uncle who fetched us there can still turn back...hahaz...so stupid loh..later went to their hse and watched fruits basket for the whole nite..coz they haven watched it b4...hahaz..hmm den bt 5plus den fall asleep..woke up and went mac to eat..hmm..also watched saw today...it's a damn stupid movie...the whole show is abt these two chained guys in a locked up room..and how they try to save themselves..and figure out the person who did those thing to them..and the person act...is a man lying in the middle of the room with a pool of blood acting dead...-_-"..tml going back to sch..coz need to prepare for the cca open house or something de..yea..luckily is afternoon..hahaz...
*hoping.for.miracles* at 27.12.04
hmm..cont what i wanted to say?erm..that nite..sorry abt the pool thing..though it was really kinda stupid to talk on the fone in the water itself..but it wasn't of any other reasons just that i didn't want to swim..coz it was so cold and after dinner..yepz..erm and i dun reali think we lost interest in talking on the fone..i mean..okie in the day u are always out..at night is either i cant call out coz of my mum or i would call my other frens..so..yea and if u dunno...i dread calling u when u are out with yuran and tammi..state an example..no offence..like that day christmas eve?i called to asked u whether we had a geog notebook for notes this yr..but coz u were out with yuran they all..u had that tone on u..and those what notebook i dun do notes..maybe i've burnt them and stuff..but u and me know clearly that u do do notes...and i just asked a simple qn whether we did notes on a book this yr..but u had to say alot..on how 'heck care' bt yr studies u seem to be...i mean is it to make sure that yuran and tammi wouldn't comment u or perhaps us..or what?hmm yea..my opinions..no offence..and i think something u are concern abt is we cant talk anymore?that we can't bare our hearts anymore? like how we used to be?hmm..i think i dun realli like to talk bt how i feel now..esp when the thing is still going on..like that time my parents thing..now that they reconcile..i dun mind talking bt it anymore..but when it's still going..i dun reali think i can say it out..coz some things are better in the heart..furthermore my probs most of the time are not yr probs..u trouble bt money..bt shopping..u shld know what that always get me emotional..i rmb u told me once..maybe i shld stop this crazy craze of mine..it's getting overboard..i dun regard it as a crazy craze...and it seems to me ppl ard me sees me as a fanatic..so i rather keep quiet and not comment on anything that they think...all of u have seen me crazy..but how many times have u seen me cry over him?starting of yr maybe?but not now..not anymore..i guess it's not the frenship that's wrong..but juz the character changes..i hate it when i says everything and ppl juz dun get the whole thing and diss it off..if that is gonna happen i rather i keep quiet..but seriously..i'm not amazed that we are still close that we still go out shopping and stuff...i mean alot of our frens ard us are juz sch mates..but u and i know that we are not..maybe like that it may juz prove we do not need any daily talkings on the fone and meetings to maintain our frenship...like what eve tot is the main factor to affect or maintain any frenship..
___mirrored::me*
+name::zijun
+bdae::17 dec
+age::14+
+horo::saggitarius
+school::anderson secondary
+email.add_friendster::zijun_friendds@hotmail.com
[[* loveex __ `
[slpin]
[smsing]
[snacking]
[watching.tv]
[reading comics]
[listening.to.songs]
_________________
[him]
[jolin]
[cyndi]
[JaY!!]
[Linda]
[S.H.E]
[netball]
[my frenz]
[mashimaro]
[Guang liang]
________________
[pasta]
[calamari]
[green.tea]
[springroll]
[lollipops]
[hashbrown]
[xiang chang]
[French toast]
[chicken chop]
[Japanese curry]
[strawberry.pocky]
[Lunch box filled with food i like!!]
________________
[pink]
[blue]
[black]
[purple]
[[* love*anime.comicsex __ `
_^Naruto^_
_^Initial D^_
_^Alice 19th^_
_^D.N Angel^_
_^WeiB Kruez^_
_^Tsubasa RC^_
_^Fruits Basket^_
_^Love for Venus^_
_^Happy Hustle High^_
_^Cardcaptor Sakura^_
_^Mystic Sleuth Loki^_
_^Hunter X Hunter Lie Ren^_
[[* hatesex __ `
=fish=
=spicy stuff=
=most vegetables=
=black carrot cake=
=sotong except calamari=
=pig intestines, stomach, liver!!=
___________________
=smoking=
=mean ppl=
=Attention.seeking.de.ren=
=ppl who always theatens to fight=
=some.vulgarities:ccb/knn/lanjiao=
___________________
=Qoo=
=coffee=
=some liang cha=
=wintermelon tea=
___________________
[[* wants __ `
::abercombie and fitch cargo::
::bag.tote.duffer::
::more shirts::
::more miniskirts::
::nike shorts::
::sports bra::
::money!!::
::belt::
::more accessories::
____________________